My Worst 10 Of 2012

With the good also come the bad and truly ugly, and for all the magnificent films that graced the big screen this year there were some truly awful ones. The type of films that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, the films that were ear piercing, eyeball singing and truly, absolutely shite! Here's my Top 10 Worst of 2012 (beware: some venting may include profanities! All deserved, of course).

10. Taken 2 - Liam Neeson gets out the black hair dye once again for some more showcasing of his 'particular skills'. Except this time it isn't thrilling, and apparently it is now acceptable for youngsters to access a film following on from its predecessor focusing on sex trafficking  nice one. Oh, and never steal a song from Drive EVER again!

9. Piranha 3DD - If severed penises, boobs, boobs and more boobs, and bucket-loads of gore wet your whistle then Piranha 3DD is well up your street. For me, this tarnished what was at least a half enjoyable remake initially, then they just got greedy like that stupid piranha who thought he'd delve one orifice too far...

8. That's My Boy - I don't know what's more annoying; the fact that Andy Samberg lowers himself to star in this or the fact that Adam Sandler continues with those douchey voices for his characters. Any film that involves granny-fucking deserves to be burnt.

7. The Devil Inside - A horror film where the biggest jump-scare is a dog jumping at a fence. An embarrassment that The Exorcist spews up and shits on time and time again. Not scary, laughable and what a cop-out of an ending. I banish thee to the depths of hell, or something like that.

6. Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance - The directing duo behind Crank, Idris Elba and the promise of an even crazier Nicolas Cage, what could go wrong? Well, an ear-piercing soundtrack, yawn-inducing story and oh, pissing flames. More like pissing in the wind Mr Ghost Rider.

5. Underworld: Awakening - Not even the promise of more Kate Beckinsale in leather (sorry ladies!) could save this one. Another shockingly loud soundtrack, shocking storyline and abysmal acting prove this to be another unnecessary film in a lacklustre film series.

4. The Darkest Hour - The teasers made this look like a really intriguing take on the alien invasion sub-genre. Instead we had a wallowing Emile Hirsch accompanied by some truly dispensable individuals and some of the worst 3D this year. Timur Bekmambetov, you should be ashamed of attaching your name to such a film. 

3. Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close - I'm a huge admirer of Tom Hanks and I must admit I think all of his films are superb; this not so much. Somehow nominated for an Oscar, ELAIC is as depressing and pointless a film as one could imagine and not even Hanks or Bullock can save this atrocity.

2. The Samurai That Night - So, I've recently delved further into world cinema and have found some real gems, but this is the type of film to put me off for life. A revenge film that results in a meagre finale and involves the lead character smashing pots of custard over his head. Yeah, you are right in thinking this sounds shockingly bad because it is!

1. Everyday - With the most droning and repetitive soundtrack you could ever possibly hear, Everyday is the equivalent of spending an hour-and-a-half being tortured. In truth, it's fucking diabolical. The storyline is seemingly on a loop and both John Simm and Shirley Henderson should be ashamed of themselves for this one. Considering it was made over five years, Michael Winterbottom needs to find a dark corner and consider his actions very carefully.