Battleship focuses on Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), who joins his brother, Stone (Alexander Skarsgård), in the Navy for a new start in life, after seemingly serving no purpose whatsoever. Whilst his brother remains an esteemed and highly ranked individual serving his country, Alex is always late for events, unreliable and utterly misplaced. When a routine exercise for the whole Navy arrives, headed up by Alex's girlfriend's father Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson), it is the perfect chance for Alex to show he has what it takes to prove he was born to serve his country.
When the Navy fleet finally hits the seas they soon encounter what is an unforeseen structure of great power. Joined by weapons specialist Raikes (Rihanna), Alex heads out to investigate the unknown entity with the fleet awaiting results. On investigating the huge structure, a rapturous EMP blast is unleashed, along with a series of unimaginable spacecrafts. With the crafts releasing spiked balls of destruction and trapping the fleet in a domed shield there is only one thing to do; lock and load for a fight to save the planet.
The crafts he uses are almost identical to those Cybertronian vessels in Bay's third outing and the level of destruction brought to screen almost seems as if Berg is in fact auditioning for the director's chair for Transformers 4. Admittedly, the film sees Berg as an extraordinary visionary in terms of CGI; glass buildings reduced to rubble and vessels feeling the full brunt of the alien attack all impressively captured, but there is little else on offer here.
Where the visuals bring the positives, the acting slowly sinks the ship. As choppy as the waters our characters are working on, there is little to be impressed by from our stars of screen. Kitsch provides little in the way of a lead to root for, only heading back to his poor Gambit performance as opposed to continuing from a star turn in John Carter. Supports in the way of Alexander Skarsgård and Brooklyn Dekker are also key elements of the film that are easily forgettable; the former unable to get to grips with the older brother role and Dekker clearly inserted purely for her 'assets'.
Disappointing too is Liam Neeson, as the most established actor in the fold, he seems almost resigned to the fact this is an easy pay-day and trudges through his few scenes without so much as an inch of care showing. Last but not least, the film debut of pop star Rihanna has been much talked about and, despite obviously not possessing the acting skills to be a world beater, manages to hold her own and certainly does not stick out like a sore thumb. True, she has very few extensive lines to carry but when she does get involved it is neither terrible nor unbearable as some of the performances we witness.
In essence, Battleship was always destined to be a film of CGI, explosions and mindless fun. Unfortunately the fun is not quite present and, paired with some cheesy dialogue and disappointing acting, sinks like an anchor. More Michael Bay's ultimate wet dream than a riveting popcorn action flick, it proves to be a pointless affair and conjures up the question, why make a movie out of a board game involving pegs and guesswork?
Interestingly enough, on IMDB those who like Battleship also liked Green Lantern, enough said? I think so! Sink or swim? Battleship certainly sinks to the deepest depths never to be seen again.
Film rating: 2 out of 5 F's
It's a shame that it didn't seem to work. I adore Liam Neeson. I guess it's one to watch at home on the couch where you can turn it off when you get bored : ) Awesome review, James.
ReplyDelete