Cinema Review - Battleship

The prospect of a childhood board game turned into a movie no doubt sends the majority of us into a sense of bafflement and, with the release of Battleship, one wonders how this can conjure up a feasible plot and ultimately an entertaining feature length film. Well, Hancock director Peter Berg certainly felt he had the content there to make it happen.


Battleship focuses on Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), who joins his brother, Stone (Alexander Skarsgård), in the Navy for a new start in life, after seemingly serving no purpose whatsoever. Whilst his brother remains an esteemed and highly ranked individual serving his country, Alex is always late for events, unreliable and utterly misplaced. When a routine exercise for the whole Navy arrives, headed up by Alex's girlfriend's father Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson), it is the perfect chance for Alex to show he has what it takes to prove he was born to serve his country.


When the Navy fleet finally hits the seas they soon encounter what is an unforeseen structure of great power. Joined by weapons specialist Raikes (Rihanna), Alex heads out to investigate the unknown entity with the fleet awaiting results. On investigating the huge structure, a rapturous EMP blast is unleashed, along with a series of unimaginable spacecrafts. With the crafts releasing spiked balls of destruction and trapping the fleet in a domed shield there is only one thing to do; lock and load for a fight to save the planet. 

With Hasbro already bringing to screen their most treasured franchise in the form of Transformers, it was almost an inevitability that Battleship would maintain some of the characteristics of the Michael Bay-directed robot actioner. Whilst basing itself on rather diverse source material, Peter Berg almost moulds Battleship into the next sequel in the Transformers universe. 


The crafts he uses are almost identical to those Cybertronian vessels in Bay's third outing and the level of destruction brought to screen almost seems as if Berg is in fact auditioning for the director's chair for Transformers 4. Admittedly, the film sees Berg as an extraordinary visionary in terms of CGI; glass buildings reduced to rubble and vessels feeling the full brunt of the alien attack all impressively captured, but there is little else on offer here.


Where the visuals bring the positives, the acting slowly sinks the ship. As choppy as the waters our characters are working on, there is little to be impressed by from our stars of screen. Kitsch provides little in the way of a lead to root for, only heading back to his poor Gambit performance as opposed to continuing from a star turn in John Carter. Supports in the way of Alexander Skarsgård and Brooklyn Dekker are also key elements of the film that are easily forgettable; the former unable to get to grips with the older brother role and Dekker clearly inserted purely for her 'assets'. 


Disappointing too is Liam Neeson, as the most established actor in the fold, he seems almost resigned to the fact this is an easy pay-day and trudges through his few scenes without so much as an inch of care showing. Last but not least, the film debut of pop star Rihanna has been much talked about and, despite obviously not possessing the acting skills to be a world beater, manages to hold her own and certainly does not stick out like a sore thumb. True, she has very few extensive lines to carry but when she does get involved it is neither terrible nor unbearable as some of the performances we witness. 


In essence, Battleship was always destined to be a film of CGI, explosions and mindless fun. Unfortunately the fun is not quite present and, paired with some cheesy dialogue and disappointing acting, sinks like an anchor. More Michael Bay's ultimate wet dream than a riveting popcorn action flick, it proves to be a pointless affair and conjures up the question, why make a movie out of a board game involving pegs and guesswork?


Interestingly enough, on IMDB those who like Battleship also liked Green Lantern, enough said? I think so! Sink or swim? Battleship certainly sinks to the deepest depths never to be seen again. 


Film rating: 2 out of 5 F's

Cinema Review - Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D

The Star Wars galaxy has seen its fair share of re-releases, special editions and amendments to cover a lifetime but once again George Lucas and his team have felt the need to tamper with the films that have made one of the biggest film franchises of all time. 

With old classics getting the 3D makeover treatment slowly becoming the latest craze, it was inevitable that at some point we would experience a galaxy far, far away in all its third dimensional glory, and low and behold, Lucas has done just that. Is it necessary? Well, let's just pose the question, were the 'special edition' versions of the films necessary? Exactly.

Despite being the most lambasted episode of the six entries, anyone who's a Star Wars fan is likely to view this one on grounds of intrigue as to whether the 3D conversion can actually work against the backdrop of the Star Wars universe. 

Just think, The Phantom Menace has a lot of opportunities to show 3D in all its glory. An adrenaline-fuelled pod race scene, the fight against Darth Maul, the scenes at the gungan City, the epic battle finale, surely this was a film born for the conversion. 

Unfortunately not. In fact, you can probably count the number of valid 3D moments worth noting on one hand. It's a disappointing affair that unfortunately shows the difficulties with converting to films to the extra dimension rather than filming with 3D cameras from the off. That said, the pod race scene does benefit, with some good moments where it clearly escapes from the normal realms of the screen but it is all too minimal to remove that bitter taste from your mouth from the rest of the film.

Sadly, the Star Wars 3D re-releases don't quite have the potential to dominate quite like The Lion King did when unleashed again using the technology and really the only recommendation for watching is to see your favourite characters and film series back on the big screen with its booming soundtrack once again captivating. Watching the titles scroll up the screen still give that great feeling from when you first saw it and John Williams' soundtrack is as ever a marvel but these are highlights we can enjoy without the unnecessary conversion to the 3D format. 

Film rating: 3 F's out of 5

Review - Unknown

After the fantastic Taken, I was hugely anticipating another great action flick from Liam Neeson in the form of Unknown.

Check out my review of the blu ray below.

Dr Martin Harris (Neeson) is a successful scientist with a beautiful wife (January Jones) and a career that is seeing him present in various seminars to some of the profession’s top personnel, things could not be any better. That is until a trip to Berlin goes terribly wrong. Arriving at a hotel, Martin realizes he has forgotten his suitcase and left it at the airport, and immediately heads back to retrieve the missing luggage. En route to the airport, his taxi is involved in a crash and plunges into the river, with Harris barely surviving, saved only by the quick thinking of the taxi driver, Gina (Diane Kruger), who soon flees.

Waking up in a hospital bed following a four day coma, his memory is initially blank but when it returns it appears that all is not what it seems. Identity-wise, nobody knows who he is and when looking for his wife and finding her, she blankly refuses all knowledge of who he is, and there is another man who seems to have stolen his identity. The question is how and why? Or is he not who he thinks he is? In an attempt to uncover the truth, he manages to track down the taxi driver who was involved in the car accident with him and together they work to uncover the truth whilst fending off a series of henchmen clearly sent to silence them. With their lives both in danger, can Martin and Gina escape the threat and finally uncover the secrets to Martin’s identity?

With such an intriguing premise, Unknown had all the signs to be the next Taken and was even dubbed this in the lead-up to release, unfortunately this is far from the case. Despite some promise coming from the initial unfolding of Martin Harris’ loss of identity, the film stutters along at an unsteady pace without a hint of Taken’s brilliance whatsoever. Neeson is solid, as ever, in the action thriller lead but he has very little support worth mentioning and is often isolated in attempting to salvage the viewers’ interest. Ultimately the pay-off and resolution to the story is different but rather unsatisfying mainly due to the fact that by the time you reach the finale little has helped to convince you that an answer is worth finding out. Disappointing really as Neeson’s Taken follow-up had the promise to match its predecessor.

Film Rating: 2 F’s out of 5